My son recently called me to inform me of “how bad it is out there.” When I asked him to explain, he said simply, “You wouldn’t understand, Dad. It’s really hard.”
I took a deep breath before responding in a slow, steady tone. “Son, I’m sorry. I have let you down. I have done you a great disservice. When you were growing up, I hid from you my long hours. I was home for dinner, play time, story time and bedtime. You didn’t see that I went back to work after kissing you goodnight. You didn’t see the sacrifices that I made, the sacrifices that your mother made, so you could have what you needed and wanted. We hid that from you.
“I’m sorry, son, that I hid from you my failures and my struggles, because I see now that it would have been to your benefit to witness them, to see that anything worth having is worth working for… that you have to give up something of value to get something of value. I let you down, son. I’m sorry.”
You could have heard a pin drop on the other end of the line when I stopped speaking. There was a long pause, followed by, “I get it, Dad. You’re right. I get it.”
Although my son may not have received my apologies as sincere, they actually were. Sure, there was some tongue-in-cheek, but I do sincerely regret hiding struggles and failures from my children. Doing so, I realize now, gave them a false impression of what is required to be successful. They did not witness the sacrifices. They thought success came easy.
The path to success is simple but not easy (there is a difference). The path to success demands Sacrifice, Struggle and Suffering. That is why success requires determination and a commitment to see things through to the bitter end. Without that commitment, the sacrifices will appear too large, the struggles too demanding and the suffering too great. A person who is committed to success views those sacrifices as part of the deal, the struggles as growth opportunities, and the suffering as character-building. Those who truly seek success understand that the roads they will travel are unpaved and rocky, roads that can at times only be traversed on foot. You see, it is the successful people who pave those rocky roads for those who will follow after them.
Hearing the stories of sacrifice, struggle and suffering from those we respect can, oddly enough, bring encouragement and inspiration. If we as leaders hide our struggles, what message are we sending our young people, tomorrow’s leaders? Would we not be more effective if we taught them the challenges they will face and, in turn, equip them to face those challenges? Making success look easy helps no one, because the secret to success is no secret: it’s hard work.
Get in S.H.A.P.E. ™
Clifford Bailey